Angel of the Tower

101 Things that your Tech Support Person Doesn't Like

2010-04-30T18:11:00.000-07:00

When you say you have a virus and you don't really have any idea what is wrong, it's just a little slow

Crawling behind disgusting and dirty desks.

Unsnarling wires

Too many icons on the desktop, making it difficult to actually find what they need

Disgusting keyboards and mouses.

When you complain about something and don't first check the cables.

When you lie and say that you've rebooted or checked the cables when you clearly haven't.

When you turn off your antivirus because "it makes the computer too slow". Infected computers grind to a halt, friend

When you ask about how to fix a problem on a home machine

When you ask about how to get your kids games working

When you complain about network speed

When you wax nostalgic about old computers/programs and how great they were. We got stuff to do here.

When you refuse to upgrade to the newest version of a program

How you complain about not being able to use an old program

When you do not apply updates.

Not reporting weird behavior like porn popups.

Not writing down error messages, and then explaining your problem like..."It comes up with an error message, but I just click it away." Sometimes that message is important.

Insisting on doing things the most complicated way possible.

When you post a username/password on your monitor

When you use a horrible and insecure password

Not backing up your data and then acting shocked when it disappears.

Clicking on popups that tell you that you have a virus. This is the internet people! They are preying on you!

When you forward something without checking snopes

When you forward something and ask if "is this real?"

When you get a piece of spam and ask why "they" do this

When you ask how you got infected. I don't watch over your shoulder

This really happened to me. When you are at a funeral and are approached for technical advice

When a hacker gets in and you ask why they do this

When you store sensitive data on your computer, like credit cards or bank accounts or passwords. Does this seem like a good idea to you? Are you asking to get your identity stolen?

When you download and install file sharing utilities

When you have an infected USB and you put it in mutliple computers

When you ask how you can make a web site, without having to learn "anything technical"

When you click without reading

When you are upset because something doesn't work exactly like it used to

When you don't want to learn

When you insist on keeping old equipment alive

When you ask for opinions on new equipment or software that the tech person hasn't ever seen. We can barely keep up on the stuff we WANT to keep track of.

When you want to now how one program is different than the other

When you missuse an acronym.

When you assume something is possible because computers can do anything

When you put your entire hard drive on the server

When you complain about the firewall

When you don't read the instructions

When you don't install the drivers

When you don't change your wireless keyboard/mouse's batteries

When you change your monitor's resolution to something your monitor can't support

When you complain that the "server must be down" for every conceivable network problem

When you don't explain how you did something

When you hide what you did

When you blame someone else

When you expect quick turnaround

When you stop them in the hallway/elevator/outside of work, and mention something you'd like them to fix. Do them a favor, send an email

When you want help in ordering something online

When you want instruction in something like "So, show me everything that is different in Office 2007".

When you want them to do your work in MS Word or Excel for you

When you ask for help doing the same thing over and over again

When you call yourself stupid

When you ask how I learned everything I know

When you assume that I have a comp sci degree

When you throw away equipment that works fine because you don't know how to use it.

When you don't let us know when there is a problem

When you don't mark when a piece of equipment is broken and it continues to try to be used

When you complain about your 500 person mailing list not working, and it is an address that is misspelled, or not working

When you complain about a piece of code you've written and you haven't checked it for spelling or correct punctuation.

When you put games on the server

When you install a server without knowing how to care for it. Everyone can install Ubuntu. Not everyone can sysadmin Ubuntu

When you have silly icons/mouse pointers that make it difficult to concentrate

When you have silly desktop backgrounds/screen savers

When you insist on adding more and more silly backgrounds/screen savers

When you insist on backing up your silly background/screen so you can put it on your new computer

When you insist on a gaming pc when you only go on the internet and write word documents

When you want two monitors because it's cool, not because you need them.

When you want to connect to your computer remotely because you are lazy and don't want to come to work

When you don't want to upgrade your printer and get frustrated when you lose your parallel port on your next computer

When you assume its safe or easy to share printers

When you open illegal shares on your computer without checking with your tech person

When you say "but my computer at home is faster".

When I can't buy something to make your computer better because of the budget.

When I'm asked to install illegal software

When I'm asked to install software without a license

When I'm asked to install software on your personal machine

Cascading Style Sheets

Not being given notice that you need something, something that we could have planned for

Being treated like a peon

Being told that we are wrong

Asking someone else of our assessment, and "is she right"

Being hovered over

Being asked to explain every step

When you are afraid to try

Being asked how to get into this business

Being asked how much I charge for home visits

When you don't accept that I don't do house calls

When you bring in your home computer for me to look at

When you don't accept my advice to wipe the computer clean and start over and insist it can be done without such drastic measures

Wordperfect

Your custom macros

Customized ergonomic mouses and keyboards

Left handed mouses

Carrying heavy computers

Crowded offices without room to move or disassemble a computer.

Having to be inside working on your computer when it's nice outside.

How not to be infected

2010-03-18T18:01:00.001-07:00

"Why is our antivirus software so bad?"

Well, it's not the antivirus software. No antivirus software in the world is going to save you if you don't practice safe computing. Antivirus software protects you from things that it KNOWS are bad. Much like a vaccine will protect, but only after the virus it is destined to shield against is analyzed and the vaccine specially crafted just for it.

No, there are billions of people on the internet and the state of virus protection is just what we've gotten a handle on a couple of weeks ago, not necessarily today. (Although they do try.)

There are things called zero-day exploits which are bugs in code that are hackable. Once the hackers figure out a way to use the holes to their advantage, they release those pieces of software "into the wild". That means that the hacked code to exploit the problem is out there, and it is being passed around.

And that is what your antivirus program is updating against...those sorts of things.

Now, your antivirus program isn't necessarily protecting you from yourself.

If you click on a program, and if you agree to install it, chances are good your antivirus program isn't going to complain. And a lot of the time, most of these programs aren't good for your computer. They might slow it down or mess with your settings. Sometimes it changes your search engine from something you might use to their search engine. Sometimes worse.

But, you see, this isn't a virus. This is a specially crafted program. It doesn't exploit any hole in software. A lot of these programs are called spam or malware or bloatware.

You get them when you click on a popup telling you that you are infected with viruses, while surfing the internet. You get them when installing one piece of software and it might install another one. You might get them while you are downloading some illegal software or music via a torrent or file sharing service.

So, the best way to not get infected by these sorts of things...don't fall for it.

Practice safe computing.

* Don't click on popups (except maybe the little red X in the upper right hand corner to close it). If it still doesn't close, shut down your web browser.
* Don't believe popups that come up while your browsing the internet, warning of an infection.
* Don't download popup advertised software designed to improve your computer.
* When installing legitimate software, don't accept additonal pieces of software. There are often check boxes given you the OPTION to not install it.
* Don't sign up for free stuff. This is how they get your email and send you email filled with links that can take you to sites with viruses.
* Stay away from file sharing sites. File sharing works on the fundamental idea that everyone trusts everyone else's data. And that every file is clean. It's alarming how many people have viruses on their computers and don't even know it. It's alarming how many people will place copies of certain highly requested things and make that a starting point for a virus infection.

If you think you might be infected?

* Download (if you can) antivirus updates.
* Unplug your network cable from your computer. That severs any connection a hacker might have to your computer.
* Run your antivirus program.
* If it doesn't find anything, download a spamware/malware product. Good free ones are MalwareBytes or Spybot S&D. It will remove what spyware it can, and that may help.
* If that doesn't help, attach a USB hard drive and create a Knoppix CD and boot off of it. This will allow you to see your computer without using your operating system. Right click your USB hard drive to make it writable and start transferring your valuable data off your hard drive and onto your USB hard drive. You might copy infected files, but without the operating system, they won't hurt anything.
* Get your computer erased and reinstalled. After an infection or a malware attack, sometimes the damage done is so severe that you just have to start over. Make sure to reinstall your antivirus first and THEN transfer your backed up files back. Often this is when your AV will flag a file as trouble.

Windows 7 impressions

2009-11-07T08:26:00.000-08:00

I've recently been working on a Windows 7 machine (32-bit).

My impressions:

* much faster than Vista, not hard to do.

* printer drivers were painful. This is not Microsoft's fault. HP hasn't written printer drivers for 7 and instead are choosing to rely on the HP Universal Printer Driver, which doesn't work. Solution: Don't use it. I was trying to connect using an HP 2200 which has an internal print server and trying to print via IP. I used the HP 4200 printer driver instead and IT WORKED. The printing might be wonky, but it hasn't so far. How to write up instructions for end users? I'm not really sure. This might have to be one of those things where we do everyone one for new Windows 7 users.

* the U has special activation instructions for our Windows 7. It amounts to an 180 day lease of a license and you have to be on campus to do it. This is a pretty big change, but I can see why they'd do it. Licensing was a huge headache for us. Some of those license numbers have made their way onto the internet. But I don't think that normal end users can do the activation themselves. I may have to write a batch file to do it.

* upgrading from Windows Vista, required SP1. Most users already have SP1, but getting it is pretty easy. It's big though, and required a lot of downloading. I think we ended up blowing away the Vista install anyway, but hey, good to know the way these things work.

How to Buy a Printer

2009-04-10T14:11:00.000-07:00

So, you want to buy a printer. Or someone asks for advice on a printer?

Here's my list of prejudices.

1. I advise people against buying inkjets. The ink is too expensive to replace, dries out quickly and they are generally pieces of junk. Laserjets will give you most of what you want, especially since most people want B&W only printing.

2. Look at the amount of pages you can get out of one laser toner cartridge. It's usually 3000 to 6000 pages. That's far and away better than an inkjet. Think about how you use your printer. A few pages here and there? Chances are good your laser printer's toner will last a long time.

3. Small monocolor (B&W) laser printers are very inexpensive. HP makes very small B&W laser printers. I think my personal one cost about $100.00.

4. Cost of replacement cartridges. This is where color laserjets are problematic. Color laserjets require 4 ink cartridges and usually one drum. These parts are VERY expensive, and usually cost the cost of the printer to replace. Do you really need a color printer? How often do you actually need to print in color?

5. Footprint on your desk. The larger your printer is, the more room it takes up on your desk. If you use a printer only occasionally, how much space does it need to have?

6. Do you share that printer, or want to share that printer among a few people? Then maybe you should invest in a networked printer. These often have a network jack in the back of them and you can then add it to your network and print to them with little trouble. You can also add a print server to almost any printer to make it network capable. That can also solve the footprint on the desk by moving it to a totally different location. Good for offices.

7. Time of printing. Modern printers today can spit out a page in under 20 seconds; some in less than 15. Not a lot of waiting around for something to print. Pays to look into that.

8. Double sided printing. Some printers can print on BOTH sides of a page. That's nice to save on paper, and an option on newer printers. If you are interested in that, look for a duplex printer.

9. Reviews. Check what other people are saying about your model. Enough said.

10. Paper. What's the tray capacity? What's the size? Is it adjustable? Can you print envelopes? Lots of things to consider, isn't it?

How to fix an internet problem

2009-04-03T11:06:00.000-07:00

When someone tells me their internet isn't working, I first check the cable. I always check the cable. 90% of the time, the cable has stopped working. When I say check the cable, I mean replace it with another one that you know is good. (AKA "a known good cable").

Then comes the other, more esoteric stuff. For example, is all the internet not working, or is it just your web browser?

If it is everything, and the cable is okay, what about up from the cable and down from the cable? What I mean by that is....what about the network interface card (NIC)? Does it have flashy lights? If so, your computer is getting signals. Then you know it's something wrong with the computer itself.

If you are getting no flashy lights, it's possible your NIC is broken. Replacing it with a "known good" nic is a good test, but I'd also check "down" from the cable, or the jack or cable modem, or whatever is the interface for your internet from whatever your provider is.

In a cable/DSL example, it comes out of the wall and goes into a cable modem. It might go out of the cable modem and into a router or wireless access point. The wireless access point can have problems, so you can test that by unplugging the cable that comes out from the cable modem and into the router and try plugging that directly into your network port. If that works, then you know the wireless access point/router is the problem. Sometimes, just unplugging it and replugging that in can fix it. Sometimes not.

Also, it pays to know how to log onto your Wireless Access Point/Router in an emergency. Depending on your type of router/wap, it may be a web address like

http://192.168.1.1
or
http://192.168.2.1
or
http://192.168.0.1

This information should be either in your documentation that came with your WAP or router, or might be available on the manufacturer website. That is also where you can find out the default passwords for your WAP or router, which might be helpful in configuring it to see if workes. Specifically, this can tell you if the WAN (Wide Area Network) is coming from the cable modem to the WAP/router. IF it isn't, try to "bounce" (unplug and replug the power) on the cable modem.

Also, if you can get some internet (like your email) and not others (like a specific web page), have you tried switching web browsers? If one works while the other one doesn't, I'd suggest upgrading your preferred web browser to see if that helps.

Fun stuff, internet problems. Luckily, one of these solutions almost always works.

Replacing Hardware: Know your Video Slots!

2009-01-29T18:15:00.000-08:00

Few things can be as easy as replacing hardware. For example; you may notice that the onboard (which means it is welded to your motherboard and isn't separate) video on your computer is kind of jerky, or that your favorite game seems to have problems displaying certain graphics.

So, you think, I need a new video card!

You go, you buy a video card and you plug it in? Right?

Well, not exactly. In the past few years we've seen about 5 different slot configurations for video cards. There was PCI, then AGP, then PCI Express and then the different KINDS of PCI Express. It can get very confusing.

It's important to know what type of slots you have on your motherboard before you run out and invest in a new card.

Video Cards are usually at the top of the board of slots and they usually are a little different configuration.

Sometimes, the manufacturer will print on the motherboard what type of slot it is. Most of the time, they won't. You can write down the numbers from the motherboard and google them, which will likely help in determining what type of slot interfaces you have. Or you can google your Computer Make/Model to find the configuration information.

Next, you want to make sure you are getting the right amount of Video Memory. This is what allows games to swap graphics quickly, so the more memory you have, the better a game will load. 256MB is a passable amount today, but 512 MB cards are popular, and 1 GB cards are now becoming more accepted. A gig? Of video memory?

Games today require more and more. And games lead the innovation. Someday, normal programs will demand more video memory too, as the customer demands more and more innovation. Sure, it might be overkill for now, but someday, you'll like the extra kick.

So, you think you have the correct card, you plug it in and...nothing happens.

Well, your computer likely is configured to use the onboard video. In order to change that, you might have to go into your BIOS and change it. What's that? That's the splash screen you see when you boot up. There may be some kind of software setting you have to make to say "Don't use the onboard video, use the card I just put in."

Once you do that, you still aren't done.

The card, even when it starts displaying the video of your operating system, might need drivers to really display the video as it was intended. That means finding the drivers or loading them from the CD that the card came with. Don't have the CD? They are almost always available online, and you already know, from my previous article, how to find a driver. It might be hard to go online using a less than optimal video setup, but it's almost always just inconvenient to navigate the pages at a low resolution.

Newer video cards have big fans on them to disperse heat. Having lots of room for air flow is something to consider as well. If you have a very small form factor desktop, that means that there aren't many slots, everything is squished together, and upgrading components will be hard. This is why I almost always recommend the larger tower style desktop machines. They aren't as pretty, but they are very easy to tweak.

If you have the video card in, and it seems to be working, but occasionally will flake out, it's likely an air flow problem. One way to handle this is to remove the cover off of one side. It's low tech, it's not pretty, but it works.

Another way is to upgrade your fans. That's a task for another day.

How to Troubleshoot Sound

2009-01-27T06:56:00.000-08:00

So, the computer my nephews are using doesn't have sound. This is often something that is forgotten about on a reinstall of Windows. It is because Windows doesn't have a lot of the specialized sound drivers that are needed for the internal sound cards. It is...in my opinion...kind of annoying.

First....check your cables. Green cable from the speaker goes into the green jack in the back of the machine. Also, check THE entire back of the computer for other sound cards. Sometimes, you have two places to plug in the cable, and you are plugging them into the wrong one.

Next, check to make sure, in the lower right hand corner of your Windows, that your sound isn't simply muted. It looks like a speaker and if you click it you should be able to adjust the volume.

Next, go to Start, Control Panels, System, Hardware, Device Manager.

Click on Sound, Video and Game Controllers.

There should be stuff here. If not, check in Other Devices. Are there unknown items in Other Devices? If so, chances are one of them is your sound card.

So, you have to make it understand that it is not just an Other Device and is actually a sound card. How do you do that?

You get the driver. If you have an internet connection, you can go to the manufacturer and look up the model number. In my nephew's case, they do not have an internet connection so they'll have to do this on their Mom's computer and transfer the data using a USB memory stick.

So, in my nephew's case, the computer is a Dell Dimension 2400. (I think).

If I go to the http://www.dell.com/support and click on Drivers & Downloads, tell it what model you have and you'll see a page come up with your specific drivers. Not ever manufacturer is this good about finding their drivers.

Click on Audio. Look not for the Patches and Upgrades, but the Driver. Download it. In my nephew's case, copy it to the USB key to take it to the computer, or just run it to open the setup program for the audio driver. It should find it and install the driver, thus moving it from "Other Devices" in the Device Manager to Sound, Video and Game Controllers.

It may want to reboot. And that is how you fix sound on a Windows machine.

My nephew told me he wanted my job.

2009-01-20T09:07:00.000-08:00

This weekend, I was asking my nephews what they wanted to do when they grew up. Last time I asked, my 13 y.o. nephew said he wanted to be a plumber. Now, he wants my job.

So, we started his training. I showed him how to replace and upgrade RAM himself.

I showed him how the cover came off, and I showed him where the slots were and how the RAM chips have slots that match the slots.

"So, do you think you can put in some if I sent you an upgrade?"

He said yes. I ordered the RAM from newegg.com and I'm shipping it directly to him.

The easiest way to learn is to do.

Something Technical about DSL

2009-01-08T14:13:00.000-08:00

Okay okay. Something technical.

A question I get asked a lot is how to get high speed internet. I don't know every possible thing about high-speed internet as we have a fabulous LAN at work that I don't have to do much to make work. Someone else takes care of that.

And I know about my own high-speed internet at home because I set it up and I fix it when it breaks.

I can't really answer questions about someone else's network.

But...

I can tell people how it looks and how it works....

For example: DSL.

DSL works over your existing phone lines. Your existing phone lines use 2 of the four wires in your phone cable. (Sure, take out a phone cable and look at it. I'll wait.)

The other two aren't used unless you have a DSL converter in the jack. Then all 4 are in use; two for your phone and two for your internet. And they don't interfere with each other, usually.

The cable from the phone jack with the converter plugs into the DSL converter box (aka cable or dsl modem) and the network cable that comes out can be plugged into the network connector on the back of your computer.

Or...you can plug it into a wireless access point to allow you to use your laptop without any cables. Or...you can attach it to a router to allow you to have multiple computers connected.

And that's DSL.

Knowing your Stuff

2009-01-08T14:05:00.000-08:00

People coming to a tech god or goddess are coming because they think you know more than they do.

But one thing is certain; no one person can track the amount of technical change that occurs on everything technical all of the time. If someone comes go me and asks a question that I don't know the answer to, I'm the first to say that I don't know. Why? Because I don't want them to think that I know everything either. It puts the asker and the tech person on equal footing and it helps relate to each other.

However, a tech person must know where to find out things they need to know. Not just Google either, which can be an excellent tool. Manuals, drivers, troubleshooting pages online, tools on CDs which run tests that can identify problems; all of these things can help you identify if it is a bad fan making that noise or something worse.

If someone asks for my opinion on something like a camera or a computer, chances are good that I've never heard or it or don't know how it is different from any other thing out there. But what do I do? I look at the reviews. I examine the specifications. I compare what I DO know to this new product. And then I give my opinion.

So, it's not what you know, but instead what you CAN know.

Don't be afraid to try

2009-01-06T17:26:00.000-08:00

When I interviewed for my current job, I was asked how I learn things. I replied "I learn things by trying them and seeing what happens. There's a lot to be said from learning from your mistakes."

That was the right answer.

A tech person is often confronted with puzzling situations. Most tech people with fiddle with it, with a little of a theory of "why" in mind, and fix it.

There's the shotgun approach to troubleshooting, where you try everything under the sun to fix something, but it will just waste time. I suggest a more directional troubleshooting. If something is wrong with the network connection, start with your network components. 90% of the time the problem is the cable anyway, so start there. You'll find your answer quick enough.

But don't be afraid to get your hands dirty and see what happens. You can always restore it to the way it was. (Because you've created a backup, because you are careful and responsible, right?)

How Do I Get Your Job

2009-01-06T07:00:00.000-08:00

This blog is my attempt to help out those who have an interest in working in the computer field, and the knowledge to do so, but haven't been successful in getting hired doing it. I get asked how to get into this field all of the time.

I work for a large group of people in a tower, and I manage technical support requests and web instruction and consultation for them.

Sound like something you'd like to do? Read on.

My degree is not in computer science. This is not a bad thing. I rarely have to do anything that they'd teach in a computer science curriculum. In fact, most people in my kind of position have nothing to do with this. If you have a computer science degree, you are likely able to do programming and more advanced work than I do.

When I started in this field, I took a pay cut to work, answering phones, for a technical support call center. This is one of those giant cubicle based phone farms. There were a limited number of ways to troubleshoot the product that we were handling (dial-up networking).

The technical support farm that I worked on had a phone tree of suggestions. When you call a technical support farm, they are likely following a web page like a flow chart.

It doesn't take a lot of computer knowledge. In fact, when I started, I didn't know much. The company that hired me was panicking because they had received a large contract with a major dial-up provider and didn't have enough people to answer the calls. I knew about basic computer stuff (mostly Mac) and I was hired to do PC support. They had to teach me everything about Windows.

And I sucked up as much as I could. I wasn't a good tech support person. My phone calls took too long. I didn't often fix the correct problem. I was more likely to try to keep the person on the phone and work on the problem until it was corrected than try to get them off the phone quickly.

This doesn't mean that this skill isn't valuable. It's a customer service skill, and that is really what I look for in a potential employee. I don't care if they have a lot of experience, but I do look for an ability to related to the person with the problem and an ability to do what it takes to make the person happy, no matter what the cost.

That's why I'm called the Angel of the Tower.